Why me???

I seem to be a magnet for strange people.  I don’t mean those that could be considered slightly odd socially, I mean downright weird.  And so, a funny thing happened the other day as I was sitting on the dock working on gluing a patch on the bottom of the dinghy when a guy came jogging by wearing a one piece woman’s bathing suit.  I couldn’t help but look up as he stood next to me jogging in place with his very obvious ‘man junk’ practically in my face.  “Oh, oh” I thought, here it comes, another crazy, and sure enough he asks “Got a leak in your dinghy?”  Well, duh, “No, I just like using this glue to put patches on with”. Sheesh¸ where’s Bill Engval when you need him (Here’s your sign—and if you don’t know who Bill Engval is or what the “here’s your sign” is all about, rent the Blue Collar Comedy video). I barely acknowledged him hoping he would just go away, but no, I am after all the magnet for the strange, so he starts telling me that he is working on understanding what women want and to help him to do so, he is wearing women’s clothes.  “Uh, huh” I reply, still not looking up, busily gluing the patch on the dinghy and my fingers along with it.  “I think I feel more masculine when I wear women’s clothes” the oddball comments to me and goes on to try to explain his whole theory about learning about women and men. I can’t really repeat it here because a) I was trying not to listen to him; b) I was attempting to extricate my fingers from where I had glued them to the dinghy, c) it was crazy talk which made no sense so I didn’t let it sink into my brain cells, and d) the fumes from the glue were starting to erode those brain cells I still had left.  I do recall the end of his diatribe where he declared “You know women want more in life than orgasms”.  Well call me old fashioned, but when a strange man in a woman’s bathing suit starts talking to me about orgasms, I tend to think he has stepped over the line.  I got up off the dock and muttered something about needing to see about something on the boat and walked down the finger pier so I could disappear and hope the guy and his weirdness would go away. He did, for a while, and then came jogging back just in time for me to decide it was safe to sit in the cockpit on the boat.  Of course he had to notice me there and make another strange comment, which I, again, just ignored, because I truly believe it is best to pretend that these people are not there and just look through them like they are invisible. They obviously want to be noticed and by even looking at them they manage to engage you somehow. I like to take the advice of a friend who used to say “Don’t let them suck you into their orbit”.  Indeed. He finally jogged back down the dock leaving me to wonder who lets these people loose on the world and whether the patch I had applied to the dinghy would work.  There are many questions in paradise!